Stalking & Stocking

These two don't sound quite the same, at least in my ears. But they're pretty close, and they were my son's suggestion. So I've been saving them for the holiday season, y'know? ;)

Rye & Wry

Flew, Flu, Flue

Trying my darndest to come up with a bird flu / bird flew joke here, but I just can't pin one down. Maybe you can? Leave it in the comments!

Chews & Choose

He chooses, he chews. 

You choose, you chew.

Shear & Sheer

Tort & Torte

Our lawyer dude is back again, this time with some sort of legal injunction against the deliciousness of Thanksgiving! That does it, he's not invited back.

Root & Route

Root – (n.) The portion of a plant that anchors it to its surroundings and absorbs nutrients. (v.) Cheer.
Route – (n.) Path, direction.
Why do carrot farmers get lost in beet fields? Because they can't find their root.
...Meh, that joke sorta works.

Close & Clothes

I suppose, technically, these two words aren't supposed to be pronounced the same. But where I come from, they most certainly are.

Currant & Current

With an A – a type of berry.
With an E – (n) a flow of water or electricity. (adj.) belonging to the present time.

Soar & Sore

As in, "Can a bird soar if its wings are sore?"

Flocks & Phlox

Birds travel in flocks. Bees travel in phlox.

Hall & Haul

Gait & Gate

Gait – a style or manner of walking.
Gate – an opening or doorway in a fence.

Coarse & Course

I told you last week's map would show up again...

Cite, Sight, Site

Getting tired of seeing that book yet? :) Just wait till I start reusing the map!

Addition & Edition

I ran across a really rare math textbook recently. It was a first addition.
Yuk yuk yuk.

Hart & Heart

Hart is a pretty obsolete word for a stag, so I almost didn't do this one. But since I already had the deer drawn, there was really no reason NOT to include it.

Hostel & Hostile

Yes, I'm aware that Hostile can be pronounced with the long I sound instead, if you prefer. Either way, I think we all know who ends up with top bunk here.

Lean & Lien

Our legal friend is back, apparently with some kind of claim against the leaning tower of Pisa. Good luck with that. I don't think this is the last we'll see of him, though.
(edit 8/29/15) Looks like I forgot to include the description of Lean as in "thin." I suppose the fact that the tower is a pretty thin building will have to suffice. Works for me.

Manner & Manor

Chile, Chili, Chilly

OK, I'm not trying to be misleading here, but this – like most things – is complicated. Chile, with an E, is what we call a hot pepper. That's the only definition for that spelling. However, chile is an alternate spelling of chili, with an I, which can mean the same thing. But chili with an I is also what we call the meat/beans meal often made with chiles. Make sense? To sum up:
Chile always means pepper.
The meal is always spelled chili.
Chili can also mean pepper. (That's why I decorated the bowl with chilis in the pic.)
Chilly, y'know, just means cold.
And Chile is a country in South America, which I'm not including here because I don't do proper nouns, and half the people I know pronounce it CHEE-lay anyway.

For, Fore, Four

HW's 250th post! Just for you. Fantastic.

Gorilla & Guerilla

My all-time favorite homophone! I remember giggling about this in junior high with my friend Abe so much that we got in trouble with a librarian. :)
I suppose, looking back, it's not that funny, really. It's also a lazy anglicization of a Spanish word, so you could make the argument that these really aren't homophones at all. If you wanted to be that way.

Tortuous & Torturous

These two are NOT homophones. But they're also NOT THE SAME WORD! That second R makes quite a difference, people. I'll admit that solving a maze might feel like torture, but the route through a maze is not Torturous, it's Tortuous – winding, circuitous, complicated.

Hour & Our

Why won't we give away 120 minutes? Because it's hours!

Disburse & Disperse

-burse – Distribute, hand out.
-perse – Scatter, run away!

Pail & Pale

Marry & Merry

Yes, I'm leaving Mary out of this.

Loot & Lute

Foreword & Forward

Totally cribbing Afterward/Afterword for this one. Not even ashamed about it.
No, I mean I'm "keeping the blog's imagery consistent"!!! No shame in that!!!

Review & Revue

-iew – examine, evaluate.

-ue – a theatrical performance.

It's not a stretch to say that you can review a revue.

Cymbal & Symbol

For more great information about drummers, don't forget to check out www.goodnightkeithmoon.com!  ;)

Throne & Thrown

Sometimes, in fact, the throne gets overthrown!

Stair & Stare

Why did the celebrity have a private elevator installed? Because they didn't like the stares.

Ensure & Insure

This one's a little tough. Ensure and Insure are so close in meaning that some definitions seem to list them as synonyms. But others, not quite. There seems to be a slight difference, at least in tone. If I had to explain it, I'd say that the significant difference seems to be:

When you use it with an E, you mean you're taking an active role in preventing harm, loss, or damage from occurring. An ounce of prevention.

When you use it with an I, you mean you're agreeing to documentation stating that should harm, loss, or damage occur, you will be compensated for it. A pound of cure.

I've been seeing them used interchangeably a lot lately, and it could be that the meanings are shifting, and one day we won't have both spellings anymore. But I don't think we're there just yet, and I guess I'm here advocating for their uniqueness. Like a sentimental schmuck.

Dear & Deer

With an A – precious, sentimental, beloved.
With two Es – Bambi, Rudolph, House Baratheon.

C, Sea, See

Humerus & Humorous

"Why did I laugh when you broke your arm? Because it was humerus!"
This is one of my all-time favorite homophones. Can't believe it took me so long to get to it.

Choral & Coral

With an H – referring to a choir.
Without an H – a type of marine invertebrate.

Lam & Lamb

Why are police on the lookout for wool?
Because it's always on the lamb!
Mm-hm.

Chance & Chants

Chased & Chaste

Why did Pac-Man make out with the ghost? 

Because he was tired of being chaste.

Shoe & Shoo

In the summer, I say "shoo" to my shoes.

Graham & Gram

How much does a s'more weigh?
Two grahams.

Gawd, I could keep this up all year... :)

Idle & Idol

Hey, any excuse to dig the Indiana Jones images back up, right? :)

Waive & Wave

Once I got a parking ticket on my surfboard.
No way! Did you pay it?
Nah, I had it waved.

Thank you, thank you, you're too kind.

Allowed & Aloud

Why couldn't the priest lead a silent prayer? Because it wasn't aloud.
Ba dum bum.

Sail & Sale

Grimaced & Grimmest

Grimaced – (v.) past tense of Grimace, an expression of displeasure.
Grimmest – (adj.) the most grim.
So, yes, maybe I grimaced because I was the grimmest.

Breach & Breech

With an A – (v.) break through from one area into another.
With an E – (n.) hind section of an object or animal.