Chord & Cord

Does the Internet cry if you blog about a rotary phone?

Slay & Sleigh

I hear the NRA can't make up their mind whether to endorse hunting Santa's reindeer or arming Santa to protect them. I'm sure it will all work out...
Happy holidays!

Whoa & Woe

Whoa – an exclamation of surprise.
Woe – a feeling of extreme grief.

J & Jay

Eventually, Homophones, Weakly should be a little desktop reference dictionary, right? (Or at least a dictionary-like app.) As such, I think it would be nice to have at least one entry for each letter of the alphabet. So I took a look through what we've done so far, and was surprised to find that I hadn't done anything starting with J yet.
So here you go.
Now if I can just come up with something for X and Z...

None & Nun

Nuns. Always drinking my milkshake.

Shameless self-promotion

But watch how I tie it all together...

Believe it or not, posting one black-and-white illustration a week to Homophones, Weakly is not my only job! What, really? I also run a small press, Black Market Books, which endeavors to provide picture books, written and/or illustrated by me, to the world.

Currently, the big project is a comic book series called Woodstalk: 3 Days of Peace, Music, and Zombies. It's a comedy/action comic about the now-forgotten zombie outbreak at Woodstock, as told through the intertwined stories of three groups of survivors – one of which is the band The Zombies.

In all, there will be 32 issues – one for each band that played at Woodstock. That seems huge, I know; but trust me, the issues are short and jam-packed with fun. Issue #1 is available now, and given the homophonic nature of the title Woodstalk I figured I'd better let you all know about it. :)

It is, without a doubt, the most awesome project I've ever been involved with. The story is amazing, the characters are hilarious, and it's immensely satisfying to toy around with a piece of musical history like this. Here's how to take a peek:

Stay updated with Woodstalk on Facebook.
Read the whole thing online for free at Graphicly.
Order a print copy for someone this holiday season, which, y'know, is right now. Only $3.99!

Talk to you again on Sunday!
Thanks,
Bruce

Halve & Have

Sharing is nice, but the more you halve, the less you have.

Missed & Mist

Is it just me, or is this blog full of people who are really bad at sports?

Fairy & Ferry

Dedicated to my son, who is more than a little obsessed with magical creatures AND public transit.

I, Aye, Eye

As the patch-wearing, homophone-loving scourge of the seas Blewbeard the pirate once said, "Aye, I lost an eye."
What to say about this one? "I" is one of the letters of the alphabet, as well as a name you can call yourself when you're in a hurry. "Aye" is some form of affirmative indication or vote. "Eye" is that ball that plugs one of the holes in the front of your head. True, there are also eyes of storms, eyes of needles, and other such uses for eye – but I'm pretty sure they all derive from the round, centrally placed organ in your face with the hole in it that lets light in.

Toe & Tow, Toad & Towed

Two barrels of homophonic grace, aimed straight at your face.
Tonight we take on Tow and Towed. It seemed like a copout to use the tow truck two weeks in a row, so I'm letting you have 'em both tonight. BLAM!

Peer & Pier

Peer – (n.) comrade, companion, a person of similar status to another.  (v.) stare intently and/or secretly.
Pier – (n.) walkway extending out over water, supported by posts.

Mince & Mints

-ce – (v.) cut into small pieces.
-ts – (n.) plural form of "mint."

Conscience & Conscious

Not precisely homophones, I still hear these words used in each other's place in conversation and see them switched from time to time in such literary masterpieces as blog posts, status updates, and user comments. I can understand why – they're tricky to spell, similar in meaning, and also similar in pronunciation. But they're not interchangeable.
Conscience [kon-shence] – (n.) your personal set of morals.
Conscious [kon-shuss] – (adj.) awake, aware, not asleep.

Aisle, I'll, Isle – 100th post!

For some reason, I decided to celebrate Homophones, Weakly's 100th post by stranding two newlyweds on a deserted island. Don't read too much into that, OK?
Aisle – narrow path between two obstructions such as seats in a theater or shelves in a market.
I'll – contraction for "I will."
Isle – small island.

Band & Banned

As in, "You and your armband-wearing, flying-V–playing, synth band get the fuck out of my club!"

Accept & Except

Accept – (v.) to receive
Except – (prep.) indicates exclusion
"Everyone except Kanye was happy when Taylor Swift accepted the award."

Flavio's choice

I got a really nice email this week from Flavio, a fan of Homophones, Weakly in Brazil. He suggested a pair of words I would usually shy away from: grease and Greece. I don't want to make a habit of including proper nouns on this site; I can't really explain why, it's just an internal rule I try to follow. Like Scrabble, I guess. But Flavio endeared himself to me by actually mocking up the artwork he was hoping I could post. Unfortunately the images he used were pulled from random websites, so I can't ethically post his mockup. But I thought I'd take this opportunity as we approach HW's 100th post to say that I really appreciate all the feedback I've gotten from everyone about this blog. It means a lot to me to see the different ways you all enjoy it. And while I haven't gotten to all of your suggestions yet, please understand that sometimes I have these internal rules I try to follow and don't always bother to explain. And other times, I gotta tell you, you stump me in trying to figure out the best way to approach the drawings (like resinated/resonated, Abe – sheesh! what am I gonna do there?).
Anyhoo, thanks again for all your suggestions and compliments. And, Flavio, this one's for you:

Heal & Heel

With an A – to repair or restore.
With an E – the rear part of the foot.
"Spelling errors are my Achilles' heal."

Vice & Vise

With a C – a habit deemed inappropriate or immoral, often used to describe gambling, drinking, or sexual depravity (or as I like to call it: Tuesday).
With an S – a clamping tool used to hold an object still while it is worked upon.

Coop & Coupe

Coop – a small living space built for birds such as chickens or pigeons.
Coupe – a two-door car with a fixed roof.
One of my all-time favorite jokes: Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Altar & Alter

With an A – (n.) a table or platform used for religious ceremonies and sacrifices.
With an E – (v.) to make something different than it was.

Frankly, though, I hope this doesn't come off like I'm advocating for either side. Maybe I should go back to Olympic themed posts. :)

One & Won

In the Olympic spirit, we present:

Go, Jamaica!

Mail & Male

I hate to make generalizations about gender, but the fact that I'm basically using restroom signage seems to justify it in this case.

Parish & Perish

With an A – (n.) a local church or church district.
With an E – (v.) to die, spoil, or otherwise become ruined.

Knot & Not

With a K – the hard mass of wood where a branch met the trunk of a tree. Or, the hard mass where a piece or pieces of cord are intertwined. Or, a measure of nautical speed equal to one mile per hour.
Without a K – an adverb used to negate the phrase that it modifies.

U

Hey, you! Let's do another letter homophone, why not? Why not, indeed... 

Today we tackle one of the very few 4-panel groups (so far, only carrot, pear, and tease) on our list.

Hey, U, underrated vowel!
Hey, ewe, female sheep!
Hey, yew, evergreen shrub!
Yeah, I'm talking to you!

Y, amended

Nope. Couldn't live with the cop-out. Here's a better pictograph for Y & Why:

Y & Why

One of the earliest HW posts was for the letter P. Since then, I've shied away from letters-as-homophones. For no good reason. Something about "illustrating" the letter feels like a cop-out to me, but I suppose it's perfectly valid and I should just get over it. 

So it's time to embrace the cop-out! Try this one on for size – the ultimate pictographic shortcut! 

And now that that's over, we can get on with the other letter homophones in dew thyme. 

Gilt & Guilt

Gilt – (adj.) covered with gold.
Guilt – (n.) having done something wrong, or a feeling of remorse.

Ball & Bawl

This must be the same crying kid from A parent & Apparent. Kid needs to shut up and ball, for real.

Vial & Vile

Vial – (n.) small bottle.
Vile – (adj.) repulsive, offensive.

There's also "viol," an antique family of stringed instruments. But I assume anyone writing about those knows how to spell it.

Knows & Nose

As in: "No one knows why Michael Jackson wanted his nose to look like that."

Ordinance & Ordnance

With the i – a rule or law.

Without the i – military weapons and ammunition.

Stationary & Stationery

-ary – unmoving, unchanging.

-ery – paper and other writing materials, often personalized. 

"The nice stationery I was supposed to use as thank-you cards when I graduated high school sat stationary in a drawer for many years."

I'm not alone in the universe!

http://learnyourdamnhomophones.com/

Role & Roll

What can I say? Indiana Jones is a great role in a great movie. I won't apologize for coming back to him again and again on this blog. :) 

Of course, if you prefer your rolls hot and buttery, we can do that too:

Mucous & Mucus

In honor of the last four weeks of sickness around our house.
Mucous – (adj.) describing the cells and tissues that produce mucus.
Mucus – (n.) the slime produced by mucous cells and tissues. Often ending up in a tissue, come to think of it.
This one shouldn't be too hard to remember because -ous is such an obvious adjective suffix, as in "viscous," "infectious,"or, well, "obvious." So even if we can't remember the correct spelling, hopefully we can remember the part of speech we're talking about, can't we?

Pair, Pare, Payer, Pear

Pair – two objects.
Pare – cut the peel off, or cut into small slices.
Payer – person who pays.
Pear – world's most overrated fruit.

Brake & Break

Remember the difference. Very, very important.

Afterward & Afterword

-ard – (adv.) time as it extends beyond the end of an event.
-ord – (n.) writing as it extends beyond the end of a story.

Golf & Gulf

What did the square root of sixteen shout while playing golf? "Four!"

An interesting side note on this one: the flags that mark the holes in golf are rectangular – but when people draw them for cartoons or whatever, they're ALWAYS triangular. Seriously, google "golf flag." Every photo that comes up will show a rectangular flag, but every cartoon/illustration will be a triangle. It's bizarre.

Iraq

Homophones, Weakly's first guest blogger! Harrison, my six-year-old partner in homophony, submitted not only a suggestion, but his very own drawing based on the complicated situation of listening to people pronounce the word Iraq. Is it "eh-" or "eye-," "-rack" or "-rock"? There are lots of possible combinations (not to mention quite a few meanings for "rack" – ahem), so I appreciate the help in sorting it out, Harrison. And I enjoyed reinterpreting your drawings in the HW style.

Arc & Ark

Couldn't make up my mind which pair of drawings to post today. On the one hand, I like the similarity of shapes in this one:

On the other hand, any excuse to run this one again is good enough for me:

Bare & Bear

I like this one; a set of homophones that includes three different parts of speech and a pair of homonyms!
Bare – (adj. / v.) uncovered / to uncover.
Bear – (n.) a type of large carnivorous animal. / (v.) to carry.

Avert & Overt

Avert – INDY: Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it no matter what happens.
Overt – BELLOQ: It's beautiful!
Everything about this scene – from the intense power of the Ark, to face-melting Nazis – was totally overt. But Indy and Marion averted their eyes and missed the whole thing.

And no comments about Indy's outfit, please. :) I know he wasn't wearing his usual get-up during this scene; I just wanted to make it obvious who was tied up there, so I went with the iconic hat and whip.

A parent & Apparent

Venturing into new territory today with a word whose homophone is made of two separate words. I know what you're thinking – from here it's only a short, slippery slope to "'scuse me while I kiss this guy." So I promise I'll tread carefully (though I may have to do that one some day; it's too hard to pass up the opportunity to draw a pictograph version of Jimi).