Quarts & Quartz

-s – plural form of "quart," a measurement of volume.
-z – a crystalline mineral.
There is so much quartz in the earth's crust, you would measure it in tons rather than quarts.

Earn & Urn

Earn – (v.) receive payment in exchange for work.
Urn – (n.) decorative vase, often the type used for holding human remains.
If your job is too dangerous – like, oh, say, professional football in the 21st century – you may eventually earn an urn rather than a paycheck.

Base & Bass

Base – the lowest surface of an object, upon which it rests. Similarly, a surface upon which another object rests, even metaphorically as a "base of operations." Also, chemically, the opposite of an acid.
Bass – the lowest/deepest range of musical notes, or the voice/instrument that produces them.

O, Oh, Owe

As in "Oh, don't worry honey. I owe the devil our first-born, but look how well I can play guitar!"

Pause & Paws

Q, Cue, Queue

Q are a race of all-powerful beings from an extradimensional plane of existence known as the Q Continuum – no, wait, that's not it. Q is just an O with a tail.
Cue – I'll just use the dictionary.com definition, because I don't think I can improve upon it: "a sensory signal used to identify experiences, facilitate memory, or organize responses." It's also the stick you hit balls with in pool/billiards.
Queue – fancy British word for a bunch of people or things lined up waiting for something.

Chord & Cord

Does the Internet cry if you blog about a rotary phone?

Slay & Sleigh

I hear the NRA can't make up their mind whether to endorse hunting Santa's reindeer or arming Santa to protect them. I'm sure it will all work out...
Happy holidays!

Whoa & Woe

Whoa – an exclamation of surprise.
Woe – a feeling of extreme grief.

J & Jay

Eventually, Homophones, Weakly should be a little desktop reference dictionary, right? (Or at least a dictionary-like app.) As such, I think it would be nice to have at least one entry for each letter of the alphabet. So I took a look through what we've done so far, and was surprised to find that I hadn't done anything starting with J yet.
So here you go.
Now if I can just come up with something for X and Z...

None & Nun

Nuns. Always drinking my milkshake.

Shameless self-promotion

But watch how I tie it all together...

Believe it or not, posting one black-and-white illustration a week to Homophones, Weakly is not my only job! What, really? I also run a small press, Black Market Books, which endeavors to provide picture books, written and/or illustrated by me, to the world.

Currently, the big project is a comic book series called Woodstalk: 3 Days of Peace, Music, and Zombies. It's a comedy/action comic about the now-forgotten zombie outbreak at Woodstock, as told through the intertwined stories of three groups of survivors – one of which is the band The Zombies.

In all, there will be 32 issues – one for each band that played at Woodstock. That seems huge, I know; but trust me, the issues are short and jam-packed with fun. Issue #1 is available now, and given the homophonic nature of the title Woodstalk I figured I'd better let you all know about it. :)

It is, without a doubt, the most awesome project I've ever been involved with. The story is amazing, the characters are hilarious, and it's immensely satisfying to toy around with a piece of musical history like this. Here's how to take a peek:

Stay updated with Woodstalk on Facebook.
Read the whole thing online for free at Graphicly.
Order a print copy for someone this holiday season, which, y'know, is right now. Only $3.99!

Talk to you again on Sunday!
Thanks,
Bruce

Halve & Have

Sharing is nice, but the more you halve, the less you have.

Missed & Mist

Is it just me, or is this blog full of people who are really bad at sports?

Fairy & Ferry

Dedicated to my son, who is more than a little obsessed with magical creatures AND public transit.

I, Aye, Eye

As the patch-wearing, homophone-loving scourge of the seas Blewbeard the pirate once said, "Aye, I lost an eye."
What to say about this one? "I" is one of the letters of the alphabet, as well as a name you can call yourself when you're in a hurry. "Aye" is some form of affirmative indication or vote. "Eye" is that ball that plugs one of the holes in the front of your head. True, there are also eyes of storms, eyes of needles, and other such uses for eye – but I'm pretty sure they all derive from the round, centrally placed organ in your face with the hole in it that lets light in.

Toe & Tow, Toad & Towed

Two barrels of homophonic grace, aimed straight at your face.
Tonight we take on Tow and Towed. It seemed like a copout to use the tow truck two weeks in a row, so I'm letting you have 'em both tonight. BLAM!

Peer & Pier

Peer – (n.) comrade, companion, a person of similar status to another.  (v.) stare intently and/or secretly.
Pier – (n.) walkway extending out over water, supported by posts.

Mince & Mints

-ce – (v.) cut into small pieces.
-ts – (n.) plural form of "mint."

Conscience & Conscious

Not precisely homophones, I still hear these words used in each other's place in conversation and see them switched from time to time in such literary masterpieces as blog posts, status updates, and user comments. I can understand why – they're tricky to spell, similar in meaning, and also similar in pronunciation. But they're not interchangeable.
Conscience [kon-shence] – (n.) your personal set of morals.
Conscious [kon-shuss] – (adj.) awake, aware, not asleep.